As a big birthday slowly creeps closer and closer, some people start to panic; ponder life’s choices and try to get a firm hold of exactly where they are. I on the other hand (maybe because I am useless at making decisions) am in no way shape or form in nay rush to be settling on one single thing right now.
I know who I am, that’s not the problem. It’s the what, where, when and how. Everyone around me seems pretty set. People getting coupled up, houses together, marriage, babies (one or the other anyway) and a pretty solid job. Meanwhile, here I am, a year and a half after moving home, and still clueless as to which way I’m going.
One thing I do know is that I have this incredible urge to travel. During my time in Spain, I was lucky enough to get round a fair bit of the country and see all sorts of it. When I was younger and still travelling around with my family, we did France a few times and even hit Florida one year. Through those trips and through having foreign students stay with us from all over the world, I have developed a love and a want to learn more about other cultures and traditions. So, ever so spontaneously, last month I booked myself what I think will be a once in a lifetime trip… a ticket to Rio de Janeiro to sight see and be part of the Carnival celebrations!
Since booking the trip, I have found myself casually looking online cheap flights and mini breaks away to random destinations; places I wouldn’t normally think of going, just to expand my knowledge of the world and its many cultures. No matter how close or far away some of these places may be, I really want to know what everyone else gets up to out there.
I hope I’m not sounding greedy. I hope I don’t sound like I’m just swanning off without a care in the world for work or home life. Its not that at all, it’s just that right now, I feel the need to make the most of the time that I have. The free time, the “not knowing” time and the “no commitment” time.
Going back to the what, where and when – I haven’t yet decided what I really want to do, I haven’t yet decided where exactly I want to be and I haven’t yet thought about when I will make those choices. The hardest one being where to live, as Spain holds a very special place in my heart and has filled my head with some epic memories. My home however, at the moment feels just right here. Here in England and side by side with my family.
Being home means I spend a lot of time with my friends as well as my older family friends too. Some of mum’s pals reckon I’m a tad crazy, flitting about and sort of floating along from one thing to the next. But isn’t it OK to have a little bit of craziness in us? Is it OK if just for a while, I don’t follow the crowd, don’t do the normal thing just because that’s what everyone expects us to do?
My friends are my favourites and their babies mean the world to me. I love play dates with the little ones, hanging out with my chums is always fun and the weddings we’ve had have been amazing! What I’m trying to say is that I’m not against all of this, but it’s just not on the cards for me right now and I don’t want to be jumping straight into things while my mind isn’t totally made up.
So do you think it’s OK, if for the time being, I carry on doing my little bit of crazy for a while? Let me party until it’s crazy late, let me travel far away and divulge in crazy traditions, and let me take some crazy adventures that get my heart racing! I’ll always come home to my puppy dogs and whenever I can, I’ll be taking them with me. After all, it’s these three woofers who me sane.